Scenes We'd Like To See: Series 16, Episode 9
The following is a guide to Scenes We'd Like To See suggestions made in Series 16, Episode 9. Key * HD: 'Hugh Dennis * '''JA: '''James Acaster * '''GD: '''Gary Delaney * '''EB: '''Ed Byrne * '''IG: '''Ivo Graham * '''ZL: '''Zoe Lyons Topics Unlikely Things for a Continuity Announcer to Say '''HD: '''The following programme contains swearing right from the fucking start. '''GD: '''Up next, ''The Walking Dead. Oh, sorry, Songs of Praise. 'JA: '''It's time for some continuity! '''ZL: '''Now on Channel 5, we explore the bizarre underworld of bondage ballroom dancing. It's ''Come Strictly. 'HD: '''And now it's my favourite, ''The Crystal Meth... Maze! 'IG: '''Coming up next on Channel 4, oh my god, those buildings are in the shape of a four! This is amazing! '''EB: '''And now our Friday night horror film, Bruce Willis stars as a ghost who doesn't realise he's dead in ''The Sixth... oh I've ruined it, haven't I? 'GD: '''Up next on ''Naked Attraction, a man who's going to spend the next 3 years telling his friends it was a lot colder than it looked in the studio. 'ZL: '''If you're sat at home this afternoon and you're not in your 80s, well this programme is just like you. It's ''Pointless. 'JA: '''Well, we all love Chanel No 5. This is nothing like it. It's Channel 5. '''EB: '''And now our Saturday night thriller, Kevin Spacey stars as the shady gangster Keyser Soze in... I've done it again, haven't I? '''JA: '''From the makers of ''Love Island, Cul-de-sac Orgy. 'HD: '''Coming up next on ITV, will Dara cop off with Ed in ''Love Ireland? 'GD: '''Next up, ''The 40-Year-Old Virgin. Oh, sorry, Robot Wars. 'IG: '''The following programme contains material that some viewers may find distressing. Unless you're my ex-wife, Karen, of course. Nothing's going to melt that cold bitch's heart. '''JA: '''We've just bought ''Bake Off cause anyone can. We're a porn channel! We bought Bake Off just for a joke! We just did it as a joke, but we've got it now! We've got the new series of Bake Off! We're going to show it! Like, just banging, banging, banging, Bake Off, banging again! It's a joke! 'HD: '''This is Dave Deja Vu, where we repeat the repeats we repeated earlier. '''EB: '''Now ladies, you know what time it is. Time to pour yourself a glass of wine, light some candles, cos next up it's ''Dara O Briain's Go 8-Bit. (points to the word "Unlikely" on the screen) *'''Dara: That... that is unlikely Ed, correct. Things a News Reporter Would Never Say 'HD: '''Well, they said it would never happen, but after a hunt over 12 years, spanning 62 countries, the police have finally found Wally. '''GD: '''Irma has been blowing all over the city for 2 days now. But enough about your mum, here's the weather. '''JA: '''In the studio with us today, Vladimir Putin, Kim Jong-un and Donald Trump in what can only be described as a ''Newsround exclusive. 'IG: '''We're yet to hear President Trump's view on the matter. '''HD: '''Well, I have spoken to a lot people here at the SNP conference and they have all said the same thing: "Piss off back to London, you English bastard." '''EB: '''And I'm at Buckingham Palace, where excitement is growing amid rumours that Prince Charles has absolutely lost the plot and it about to appear on the balcony bollock-naked, singing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight". '''JA: '''Damn right BBC News is biased. This next story is about how I'm hot to trot and all the ladies want to do me! '''GD: '''It's now been 4 days since Piers Morgan went missing. The police have appealed for anyone with information on his whereabouts to please, please, please keep it to themselves. '''IG: '''And now for the news in your local area. You've got thrush! '''ZL: '(In an Irish accent) Hello, I'm Orla Guerin. I'd really like a hug... '''HD: '''Here are the headlines... (points at his forehead) '''JA: '''I'm just saying, say "spoiler alert" next time or something! Some of us want the weather to be a surprise! '''ZL: '''And I'm reporting now from the DUP conference this year, which is surprisingly sponsored by Grindr. '''IG: '''And we've got some intel on the killers, they're good live but their albums are patchy as fuck. '''JA: '''Finally, we've discovered the true identity of Banksy: He is none other than The Stig. '''EB: '''I met a woman earlier who'd lost both her home and her business in the flood, I asked her how she was coping. She told me to go fuck myself. Category:Scenes We'd Like To See